Time Flies: turns out that it's true after all.

You are standing in front of your boyfriend of almost two years and he's down on one knee. You can't believe it's finally happening! Next thing you know you turn around and your 7 1/2 month old baby is waking up from a nap and needs to be fed!

This is what life feels like to me right now. I don't know about you all, but I can hardly believe how fast time seems to go these days. I can remember exactly when my water broke, what it felt like and the events that shortly followed. My little girl is almost 8 months old now, and it seems to me that just yesterday she was born.

She looks older every day. It's amazing to watch her grow and develop. Her curiosity is so inspiring and beautiful to me. I would love to see the world through her eyes. To have an insatiable desire to know more. She's perfect. I guess I know why all mothers before me always said that about their children. It's genuinely how they feel, and how I feel.

Just a short post today, I hope you all are well and your lives are filled with an overwhelming sense of joy.

In Christ,
Brandy

The Day My Whole World Changed

Hello everyone.
It's been a few weeks since I last posted...and I have a good reason!

I HAD A BABY!! :)

Aurelia June Austin came into the world at 3:48 pm on February 3rd, 2016. She weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and measured 20 1/2 inches long. And this is what the world knows about her birthday thus far.

What I am about to do is recount that day to you and let you inside my head. I will let you experience the joys and pains of childbirth, and feel the millions of emotions that I felt as you read through this blog.

February the 3rd, 2016; the hardest day of my life up to this point.

Pregnancy: Week 38 Day 7

It started out pretty ordinary, actually. I woke up around 7:00 am to my husband scurrying around the bedroom, trying to get ready for school that day. He was running behind, so I thought that I would do him a favor and make him breakfast before he had to leave. As he jumped in the shower, I made my way down to the kitchen and grabbed some eggs out of the refrigerator. I flipped on the burner and poured some olive oil into the skillet, along with the eggs. As I stood there watching the oil sizzle, I felt something warm and wet trickle down the inside of my upper left thigh. The strange thing about it was that I didn't feel like I had to go to the bathroom, and I had no control over it. It stopped after just a few seconds, so I went into the bathroom to check it out. The wet spot had no color to it, but when I wiped, sure enough, a light pink hue was left on the toilet paper. Did my water just break, I thought to myself, because this was NOT how it happens in the movies. And sure enough, my water had broken and there was no dramatic scene to it whatsoever. I had felt no pain at all, so I went and finished making Zach his omelet. This was around 7:15 am When I was done I walked upstairs and met Zach as he was walking back into the bedroom. I told him not to freak out, but I thought my water had broken. We decided that I would call the doctor's office at 8:00 am when they opened, and we would go from there. He left shortly after that because he had a test to take and wanted to get it out of the way.

Not ten minutes after he left, my contractions started. Probably around 7:30 am or so. At first, they just felt like mild period cramps, and I thought, oh I can handle this no problem. About 10 minutes later, I had another one and it was a lot more intense than the first. Ten minutes after that the next one had me doubled over, and I attempted to breath through it as I was timing myself in between. After that one, I called my doctor's office, hoping to talk to someone before the next one came on.

After talking with the nurse, I was told to go directly to Labor and Delivery, so I grabbed my hospital bag, the diaper bag and my keys and waited out the next contraction before I jumped in the car. Luckily, our hospital is about 10 minutes away give or take, so I was able to avoid a contraction while driving. As soon as I pulled into the parking garage, another one came on and this one started to radiate from my back into my lower abdomen. I breathed through it the best that I could and once it was over, I headed into the hospital and got signed in. By this point, Zach was already done with his test and was headed my way. He got there probably 10 minutes after I did, and sat with me while I was getting checked in. The pains were getting much worse now. The bulk of my pain was now in my lower back, making it very uncomfortable for me to sit, I was ready to be in my room. Luckily, a nice man who worked for the hospital saw me in agony, grabbed a wheelchair, and took me up to L&D right then. I undressed and slipped my gown on as fast as I could and crawled into the bed they had prepared for me. The nurses started flooding in one by one, asking me this and that, checking vitals, strapping all kind of wires and monitors to me, it was overwhelming to say the least. The funniest part that I can remember from then was the nurse asking me what I was having, which I told her a girl, and she says to me, "And if he comes out an 'Alex', would you like to have him circumsized?" I looked at Zach like she was nuts.

This is where it got intense. The nurse measured my cervix as soon as I got there and I was already 6 cm dilated at that point and the contractions were coming about every 5 minutes, maybe less. I started shaking with the pain of each one, and I had to really start focusing on my breathing. I have never felt pain like I did that day. It was completely attacking my lower back, the pressure was unbearable. My poor nurse and Zach had to snap me back into reality because I kept frantically telling them that I couldn't do this, and I wasn't going to make it through this. I had had enough at this point, and was begging for my epidural. Sadly, I had only been there about 30 minutes and no blood work had been done, so they couldn't administer it yet. They promised me that as long as I could sit perfectly still, that I could still have it, and I happily agreed. The nurse anesthetist came in and i'm almost positive that I told her I loved her. She was the only person in the world I cared about at that moment in time. Poor Zach was made to leave the room while they gave it to me, and he wasn't thrilled about that lol. I was never so happy to have a needle poked in my back. I literally didn't even feel it.

From the moment I got to the hospital to the time I got my epidural, only 45 minutes had passed.

After that point, the medicine and the epidural were making me feel pretty dang good, but they did slow my labor down dramatically. After they gave it to me, I was 8.5 cm dilated, but I wouldn't reach 10 cm and start pushing until 3:00 pm. Although I was numb, I could still feel pressure and knew when I was contracting, which helped a lot with the pushing. Zach stayed by my side the entire time and at 3:48 pm, he watched our daughter enter the world. He also got to cut her cord, which was pretty incredible he said.

Now, I am an emotional person by nature, but nothing could have prepared me for the amount and intensity of the emotions I felt after I delivered. Dr. M placed Aurie on my chest and I lost all control over my emotions. I started to cry frantically, but I was also smiling and trying to catch my breath all at the same time. This tiny human was mine, she grew in my belly and now I am looking at her for the first time! Aside from her crazy elongated head, she was the most perfect and amazing thing I had ever seen. She was crying and all I remember is the nurse coming over and suctioning out her mouth and nose. After about 3 minutes, the nurse took her from me and I could tell something was not right.

As they worked on me and cleaned me up, I watched the nurse suction, wipe and suction some more. She kept looking back at the doctor, then back to my baby, and back to the doctor again. I couldn't breath. She finally said she was taking Aurie to the nursery to help get her suctioned out all the way. I honestly had no idea what to think. I had never done this before. For all I knew, this could be normal, right?

After they stitched me up, the nurse came back in the room to talk to us. She led with this, "When I was walking her to the nursery, I almost lost her". She had turned blue from lack of oxygen because she had "taken a big drink" as they phrase it, during birth. She had fluid on her lungs, and thank the good Lord above that one of the Vanderbilt doctors was in the nursery helping another baby at the time that my baby was struggling to breath. They got her fixed up, but she had to be put on oxygen and IV fluids for the time being, and there was talk of potentially needing to transfer her to Vanderbilt hospital if conditions didn't improve in the following hours.

I had never felt so scared and hopeless in my entire life. But God was with my baby, and she did improve. Slowly but surely. Time is a funny thing when you are in the hospital. The hours pass so fast, but the days seems to drag on; it makes no sense but this is the best way I can explain it to you. Aurie was in the nursery on monitors from the time she was born on Wednesday, until 11:00 pm on Friday night. And finally, I got to hold my baby with no wires attached after 2 whole days. We finally got to go home Saturday evening, after what felt like a week stay in that hospital room.

Another amazing phenomenon is how having a baby monumentally increases the love you feel towards your spouse. I have never loved Zach as much as I did those days following Aurie's birth. It was as if her existence amplified my feelings for him to a high that they had never reached prior to that.

I also was extremely emotional about everything for the first 2 weeks after birth. I would cry in the evening for absolutely no reason at all. It was so bizarre, and due completely to my raging hormones. They did settle down eventually, and I am more or less back to my old normal self. Although, I will never be the same, because that sweet little girl has forever changed who I am.

I am a mother now.

Aurie is 6 weeks and 5 days old now and is healthy as a horse! We love this little girl more than you can even imagine!

Your Unique Role

I don't know about you, but to this day I still find it hard to believe that God loves me still, even when I fight him. Yesterday was a good example of this. I wasn't feeling well and Zach had to go into work for a few hours and wasn't sure that he would be off in time to make it to church. I felt relieved because I didn't really feel like getting out of the house and sitting in a church service for an hour and a half. Little did I know, that was exactly what I needed to do.

Isn't it funny how God knows us better than we even know ourselves?

We ended up making it to the 12:00pm service, but I still didn't want to be there and Zach could tell. I had a terrible attitude, and I'm not one who hides her emotions very well.

After the worship songs, our pastor came out and started preaching. Now before I tell you what he spoke about, I want to tell you where I was at emotionally and mentally.

I have always struggled with finding my self-worth, even after I gave my life to Jesus. The times I have struggled the most were: when I held job that felt pointless, or when I had no job at all. It was hard for me to understand that I was still worthy, even though I didn't feel like I was "doing" anything that was helping anyone. This past year, my job brought me great fulfillment because I was able to help patients as well as use my brain and my skills for good. So naturally, after my last day on Friday, a wave of panic came over me as I felt satan start to attack my self-image. He told me that I was worthless again and that my life wasn't doing anyone any good. He also told me that I was not a worthy wife because I was no longer contributing to our family's income. Thankfully, God made me get up and listen to Pastor T speak, because what he said has honestly changed my life and the way I will always see myself from here on out.

This is what he said:

"Why sacrifice a role that is unique to you, for a job that someone else could do?"

Let's think about that for a minute. Right now I have two very unique roles; I am a wife to my husband and I am a mommy to my little girl. There is no one else in this entire world that can step in and be a wife to my husband. That is my role, my job, my responsibility, and my honor. If I don't assume the role of wife, my husband will have to go without a wife. I also have the extreme privilege of being a mommy to my little girl. There will never be another on this earth that will be her mommy, that is my job, and my blessing. How incredible to view life in this way?!

Now when I think about my position at work, I can breath easily. I know that my role there has already been filled and someone else is equally capable of doing the job that I was doing there, if not even doing it better than I ever could. No matter where you are in your career -- maybe you are the CEO or maybe you take orders in the drive-thru -- either way, that job will eventually be done by someone else who is equally as capable.

Careers are great, and money is a necessity, but we need to be more kingdom minded when it comes to our families. We need to ask God to help out with situations at work instead of putting in 80 hours a week at the expense of family time at home. When we are home, let's be home with our bodies and mind because that is what really matters in this life. 40 years from now, any position at any company we may be associated with, will be filled by someone else. You can never turn back time with your family and children, so soak those moments in and enjoy them while they are here presently.

So for now I will find my self-worth in Jesus, and I will feel worthy as a wife and a mother.

I hope that this was an encouragement for you if you also struggle with this type of thing.

Have a wonderful week!

Xoxo
Brandy

Becoming a Mommy

It has been a good while since my last post, and what can I say other than sometimes, life gets in the way.


I should tell you that I am days away from starting the most important job that I will ever have: Mommy!

As of today I am 38 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy! I feel that I could fill up an entire book with all of the challenges, woes, and amazing experiences that have come to pass during these last 9 months.

We found out that we were expecting back in June of this past year and nothing has been the same ever since. My husband and I had always planned to have children someday, but were unsure of when God would bless us with that responsibility. He didn't make us wait, as we were very lucky to receive the good news shortly after we started trying. Zach and I both believe that we are blessed beyond measure and have been shown amazing grace and favor in this. We are proof that no matter how badly you mess up in life, God is good and merciful and will always give you the desires of your heart.

My pregnancy has not been all daisies and roses though. I was very sick from week 6 until week 12 and had to be put on prescription medication for my all day/all night nausea. Luckily, it worked like a charm and I was able to continue working. This was important for our family because Zach is finishing up PTA school right now and only works periodically on the weekends. My goal was to make it to the end of January at my job, in order for us to save enough money to live off of during the upcoming months with our new bundle of joy!

I am THRILLED to say that I made it! I celebrated my very last day at my job on Friday, and i'm now officially a "stay-at-home" mommy!

After all of the blessings that I have received throughout this time, it is hard for me to outwardly complain about what I am going through, but I will say just a few words

To all of the mommies that are and that will be: you are amazing and strong. There has never been a time in my life where I have had to give of myself as much as I have had to during this pregnancy. From what I have heard, the giving only increases from here on out and I am more than ready to take on that responsibility. Our bodies truly are broken for our little ones, and somehow, none of that even matters anymore. I am so grateful that God chose me to be my little girl's mommy, and I will never take that great honor for granted.

Any new mommies, feel free to comment or give me suggestions!

Xoxo
Brandy

A Dog's Life

Having a dog is one of the most amazing and wonderful things in the world. They greet you at the door each day after work with overwhelming joy and excitement. They love you unconditionally, no matter how many times you scold them or punish them. They make life more enjoyable when life seems to have turned it’s back on you. Not to mention, they have the most adorable face that you can’t help but love even when they leave you gifts that are hardly wanted.

Dogs are funny though, no matter how much love they show you, they will still chew up your favorite pen and rip apart your screen door without a second thought about the matter. My sweet, new puppy has made my make-up brushes her personal teeth sharpeners and my liquid eyeliner her play toy.

Most recently, my precious nine-month-old rescue has been quite mischievous around the house. Earlier in the week, she decided to peruse through my articulately organized closet to retrieve a pair of white pumps for her chewing pleasure. These white pumps also go by the alias of my wedding shoes. Now, I admit that when I first saw her gnawing away at one of the most precious keepsakes that I own, I may have overreacted, but who wouldn’t? After I punished her for what she had done, I looked into those big brown eyes and my heart melted inside of my chest.

Later in the day, I was working on a project in the guest room when I thought it to be unnervingly quiet in the house. See, having a dog or puppy is much like having a toddler. If they are quiet, they are usually up to something naughty. With bated breath, I walked into the living room only to discover my sweet puppy lying on the couch. Upon closer examination I saw that she was chewing on a foreign green stuffing of unknown origin. Then, I saw it. The corner of one of my throw pillows had been severed completely and a strand of green stuffing was rolling out of it onto the couch.

No matter how many shoes she eats or how many pillows she mangles, I can’t seem to stay mad at her for longer than five minutes. I guess that is what one might call “puppy charm”, and I hope that for her sake her charm never wears off.  I have a feeling that even if it does, one look at those big chocolate eyes and everything will be forgotten.

Truth be told, we are lucky to have pets in our lives. They teach us how to love deeply without expectations, and they show us what forgiveness looks like in action. We only get to keep them for maybe an eighth of our lives, 8-15 years at the most, so making the most of everyday is what they are intrinsically trained to do. We could learn a lot about life by simply living one day through our beloved pets’ eyes.

Moving Shenanigans

So, moving is great for many reasons!

1. You get to move in to a brand new house/apartment and get to decorate all over again! (Yay!!)
2. You get to find all kinds of new and awesome places to eat!
3. The shopping may be better in your new area (YAY Again!!)
4. And there's all kinds of new things to try and new places to go!

There is also some things that can be frustrating but yet...     ...comical in a way

Like for instance, I visited our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart (my favorite place to go ever in the history of ever) just the other day. I simply needed a canvas and dish washing detergent- that was it. Well, this was an endeavor that I just wasn't prepared for apparently. For one, why is the layout of every single Wal-Mart different?!? Can someone explain this to me because I really don't understand the purpose. Anywho.. I was completely turned around and didn't even know where to start looking for the craft department. It was located in the very back on the right in our old Wal-Mart so I started there first. Well, sadly, I did not find the crafts back there....   ..so I found a nice employee- well actually he spotted me first. He must have took one look at me and realized I looked like I was in a foreign country, so he offered his assistance. I found the crafts no problem, and picked out my canvas. Okay, next stop- dish washing detergent! This should be an easy one right.. nope! I wandered around for a while and low and behold who do I see??? But the same nice employee who spotted me the first time! He looked at me kind of like, "wow.. what do you need now".. but I had no choice but to ask him or I would have been there for another 15 minutes roaming the long aisles of Wal-Mart. The detergent was in the middle of the food section... ...I mean really? I've never even seen that before! haha

Anyway, it's been a new adventure everyday! Don't even get me started about trying to find my way around town... thank the good Lord for allowing the human mind to create the "GPS". I don't know how we survived without it!

Well hope you enjoyed my story and have a wonderful night!

Until next time,

Brandy

New Places and New Faces

Sometimes in life, things happen. We spend all of our time trying to prepare for any and everything that could possibly go wrong. And it seems the more plans we make and the more prepared we are... the more that goes wrong.

I had plans too.

Plans that were turned upside with one text message conversation that changed the direction of our lives.

Long story short, my plans for the summer were never set in stone. Although I was unaware of this, it didn't change the fact that I was now faced with a dilemma. I needed a job and needed one quick, but in little Williamsburg, KY, jobs are hard to come by.

The plan was to move to Western Kentucky after I finished my Master's program, and try for a teaching job there. This wasn't supposed to be until next fall at the earliest, but more than likely it was going to happen in December after I finished student teaching. We never expected to watch our plans unravel right in front of our eyes.

Zach and I took a walk that afternoon, after we got the news. We walked through our quaint little town and talked about the direction of our lives. After hearing what each of us thought about everything, we made the decision to move to Glasgow, KY and start over there. It's a bigger area and there are more opportunities for our future there.

So after the grueling apartment search, the lease signing, the packing, and the moving, you will now find me sitting in our new office on our computer typing up this blog to catch all of you up!

We found a beautiful duplex out in the country that was perfect for us. Zach got his old job back at the YMCA for the summer, and they have graciously agreed to take me on as a Zumba instructor after I get my licence this weekend. If you know me you know that after last summer becoming a Zumba instructor was a huge dream of mine, and God has put me in a place where that dream can become a reality.

I'm still searching for a job, and still waiting to hear from a few schools about teaching positions. This is a frustrating and uncertain time, but God is walking with me and with us the entire way.

He never leaves us no matter how bad a situation may seem at the time. Although I am still in the valley, I know that the mountain is right around the corner and I will continue to have faith in a God who is bigger than all of my problems.

It's not an easy thing to do. It doesn't always look pretty, and it's almost unbearable some days. But there is always hope that tomorrow is a new day with new blessings! I ask that if you have some time, please say a prayer for us as we make this challenging transition.

Until next time-
Have a wonderful evening,

Brandy